I'm drive I can fine osifer
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
