I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize