He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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