I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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