Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
