why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
