I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
