white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
