How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
