According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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