all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
