i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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