i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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