I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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