Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
