If i come over, it means nothing
The best revenge is premature balding
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
