Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
