high people should be assigned attendants
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
