i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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