What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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