I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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