ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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