the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
