I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
