But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
