u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
