Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
