I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
