Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
