Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
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idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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