What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize