i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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