Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
