Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
