he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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