u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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