You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
