she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
