Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
