Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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