um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
