is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize