just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
