terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
