There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
