An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
