Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
