I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize