dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
