Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Randomize