and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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