its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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