dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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