I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
