Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
