The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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