The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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