I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She bit a glass in half.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
