Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize