im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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