Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
