As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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