Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
