I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
