Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We have so much sex to catch up on
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
