The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Randomize
