margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize